- Granthika Manirao
“Sit like a Lady, don’t cross your legs;
Show some skin, what a slut;
Put on some makeup, you look
fake;
Get skinny, don’t you ever eat?
You’re so fat, stop eating
Why does your hair look like
that?
Why do you have body hair?
Why don’t you do something
about your skin?
Why aren’t you married yet?
Having a child is what defines
your life as a woman”
These kinds of questions and opinions
sound annoying, don’t they? Imagine having to face these and even more on a
daily basis, oh wait, you don’t have to imagine, this is reality, in lives of
women on a daily basis. The worst part about it is that people who ask these
questions justify it by simply saying “I was just trying to help because I
care”.
The “I just wanted to help”, is one of
the most commonly used phrases, as an excuse for acting like a jerk to a
person. Let’s take the basic example of a girl, who just faced something
horrific, because some moron couldn’t keep it in his pants, okay, let’s not go
to rape, even just cat-calling, which is the commonly undermined issue of
society. Moreover, there are some people who also think it is a “compliment”,
sick, isn’t it? So someone, male or a female, maybe a friend or a relative goes
to that already traumatised girl, tells her that it happened because she’s
dressed in a way that would make people think she is a girl of “that sort”,
Yes, almost every woman’s constant question, What do they even mean by girl of
“that sort?” a girl who lives by her own rules and choices? , the girl who
wears clothes that she feels comfortable in? , the girl who is confident to
raise her voice for something that she believes in?. No one knows the answer,
but all they know is to demean her and her opinions by saying she
is a girl of “that sort”. They don’t just stop there, it goes on like “I’m
saying this for your sake because I care about you and I want to help you!”
Yeah right, “you just wanted to help”,
yeah you didn’t try to manipulate that already self-loathing, heart-broken
girl. This is termed as benevolent sexism, putting up an act of caring but just
constantly exerting their sexist views into someone. This is nothing but
emotional manipulation, it is no lesser than the actual one, maybe even worse.
The worst part about this is the women of the society being misogynistic toward
other women. This self-imposed misogynistic behaviour is the major catastrophe
that’s prevailing almost everywhere among women. It’s just frustrating to know
that the concept of unity is MISSING, like when would there be unity, when
there is a similarity in caste, No, race, No, nationality, no, at least gender,
Not at all! Just when?, Women are such beautiful human beings who just hide
behind or imbibe themselves into the Fucked up, Misogyny.
When I say women are good, it’s not that
I’m implying that men aren’t. People have got to understand that supporting
something doesn’t make one hate the other side. But let me also make it clear,
you supporting Presidents who are against the nature of any kind of beautiful
love, I’m NOT sorry to say this, You are against HUMANITY, and that’s just
messed up, it’s fine that you don’t support, but supporting something that’s
just so out of line is not okay.
As if all these issues weren’t enough,
sexualising almost every single thing is another situation that a woman needs
to face on a daily damn basis. Again, this isn’t done only by men, how many of
you have noticed any middle-aged person judging you by the size of your clothes
or by the number of guy friends you hang out with. I bet you can feel the
judgemental look pierce through that exposed skin of yours. So exposure of
thighs are considered as “asking for it”, exposure of shoulders are considered
to be “distracting the boys” and all these counts into the consideration of “not
raised by good parents”, but little do they know that the problem isn’t in the
exposure of skin but the eyes, the perception of the beholder. Women are more
than just their bodies so for god sake, STOP sexualising them.
It is 2020 now, yes, there are women
succeeding in every field, yet, I’m writing this with such wrath in my eyes,
because, even now, there are so many parts of the world where women are being
denied of basic human rights, I don’t think this sounds new to anyone anymore.
In parts of Saudi Arabia, a woman is supposed to have a male guardian
throughout her life, right from birth her life is controlled initially by her
father and then her husband, or even a brother or a son. Again this is justified
by, “we want to protect our women”. They aren’t allowed to go out without a
male guardian, in most cases, just not allowed outside at all. We all know now
how frustrating it is to not go out just for a few months, think about the
state of women in countries like these.
Finally, the state of the society is that
men, who respect other women, are called “simps” currently. Respecting a woman
is considered as a disgrace to a man, isn’t this ugly?
Things need to change. Now.
Matters that need to be considered for making our society more aware
of this and act accordingly are:
- Stop telling
our daughters to cover up, instead set the perceptions right in our sons
from the very beginning.
- Give them
the basic lesson or information on consent.
- If you can’t tolerate queer kids, don’t have children at all.
- Understand
and respect each person’s differences instead of judging them for it.
- Know that
all genders are equal instead of undermining them.
All these just based on
Open-mindedness, a little bit of understanding, empathy and open-mindedness
would go a long way in making this jungle of social animals get better.
Don't have words to say but it was ������
ReplyDeleteVery strong but very essential message to be percolated down to every family especially having make children. Let us hope and wish for a better environment for the women in this society. Good thought.
ReplyDelete