Is selflessness a form of self sabotage?

In nature we can observe various forms of symbiotic relationships. In theory, we say that neither of them is harmed by that relationship. But in reality, this theory is stricken out by nature.

The very common association is of buffalo and oxpecker. Oxpecker resides on the skin of buffalo and eats all the skin worms, by this the buffalo is clean and the oxpecker is not hungry. What is ignored in theory is that oxpecker also feeds on the open wound in the skin and feeds inn the buffalo blood, and finally reaches the tissue and eats the buffalo from inside. Yeah, I know this just got too real too soon. But the more important question is, why do we ignore this possibility in theory?

Well, the answer is simple. All of the symbiotic relationships is hampered by the inherent tendency to be selfish. Selfishness is a dominant force in nature and an inevitable symptom of “survival of the fittest”.

In the famous book “your life isn’t for you” by Seth Adam Smith, he with his holier than thou personality has given all the reasons to why not to be selfless and the continued to contradict his own statement at the end and stated that all of the above reasons are also the reason to be selfless.

I am making a sincere effort to put all that content in a nutshell and present it to you.

 

1.    No one notices selflessness:

When you switch on the television and scroll through the channels, you will find that most of the news or content is about selfishness. Every single day we see the newspaper to realize what bad people are Gandhi parivaar or what did Kourtney and Stormi doing in their huggee mansion. But does anyone talk about all those NGO’s who are working day and night to serve the world, plant trees, giving out PPE kits? NO, because we don’t want to hear all those.

Justin Bieber’s twitter account has 54 million followers, on the other hand, Malala Yousufzai's twitter account to fund for the education of girl child has not even a fraction of the number of followers that Bieber has. So now this is not a popularity issue, because we know both of them, we have seen both of them in TV. Yet this disparity is there because we care WAYYY more of selfish and egoistic people than those who are selfless because we simply don’t care!

On the brighter side: but are we in it for the glory and praise? Or are we in it to make a positive difference? Acts of selflessness might fly under the radar of the public eye, but they often change lives for the better. And anyway, the idea of being "selfless" kind of argues against the need for recognition and adoration (otherwise it wouldn't be selfless, would it?) Besides, within a few short years, the name and fame of selfish celebrities will fade. In contrast, the light and influence of truly selfless people will continue to grow stronger and brighter with time.

 

2.    I am an introvert:

 Selflessness requires you to, you know, deal with people and being around...others. I hear you. I’m a pretty serious introvert myself and social events often drain me of energy. Whenever I’m approached by extroverts (who always seem to have really, really big teeth) they seem to believe that it is their mission in life to rescue me from my solitary (yet voluntary) confinement.

On the brighter side I’ve learned that being selfless doesn’t mean ignoring our natural need for space and introspection. It simply means that we just need to consciously allow room in our heart for others, because true happiness is found with others. I've learned that our joy in life is inexorably determined by the degree to which we love, so it's not a matter of losing your own space, just creating more space for others.

3.    Selflessness is a loss:

Self-sacrifice and giving are very draining -- both physically and mentally (not to mention emotionally). When you keep giving selflessly, the result is often a jaded soul that can be cynical and depressed with all it has seen.

On the brighter side Actually, there's another side to this argument. Have you noticed that some of the best things in your life come to you because of your willingness to give time and energy to others (love, marriage, family, friends)? In a paradoxical way, selflessness—giving healthy levels of time and energy to others— is the best way to serve yourself.

Being selfless is a personal decision, if your soul is getting jaded by it or your mental health is affected by it, just stop. STOP when you feel like it is getting to you. As the famous saying goes “no need to be a saint and offer help always” take care of your mental health, YOU need to be healthy and happy to keep others healthy and happy