Why did Tik-Tok feel like a queer space?

Tik - Tok initially wasn't my thing, or probably it just wasn't there for long enough for me to discover in it. Being conditioned that Tik-Tok basically is a place to find cringe content, I made a pact with my brother to never download it ever.  Probably I just didn't see it with a different lens perhaps. Even though I never downloaded Tik- Tok I found the majority of its content on Instagram. The more of these videos that I watched, the more it made sense to me, the subject of these videos were not random or unnecessary (though a few were). The stealth of Tik-Tok creators have managed to capitalise on the open fields of love and desire.

Being in India, talking openly about love and desire did pave a way for its downfall, but it also represented the queer and LGBTQ+ community largely. From men being disguised as women, wearing makeup and women wearing football shorts and oversized T-shirts, what these content creators did for fun actually, in fact, represented the normal daily life of a queer person. And the backlash faced by them for wearing of not wearing makeup was also a mirror reaction of what queer people face daily.  

Being neuro-linguistic programmed to the bigender role of the society, 

When young people actually realise their love for the same gender or many genders or no gender for that matter of fact, they feel as if they are defected and that something is wrong with them that they are sexually attracted to their best friend or a hot classmate. they undergo many unnecessary thoughts, blame themselves for being such a burden and just blatant hate themselves for a long time, and when one hates oneself, there is not much to love around. Being a bisexual queer person myself, I was only exposed to all the ugly parts of being a “sexual deviant”. Little did I know before joining Tik-Tok that it is actually fun and extremely empowering and just sweet.   

Not only it showcased the view of the LGBTQIA+ personnel, but rather it also showcased the view of their families, how they react when they come out, all the good and the bad parts. All the side-eye rolls when you dress queer, all the chi chi when you showcase PDA, and all the sweet and the cute morning when you wake up with the person you love. It can melt the heart of a person who has completely shut it down and pledged not to feel anything.

The Mumbai fellow from the Indian Matchmaking was popularised to being dressed campy. He was labelled as gay by all the uncles and aunties with him having no say about this. The hip, hep and happening ones were decidedly throwing in bisexuality into the mix too. And so did I, we all were trained by the same social standards and judgemental eyes. And I was not impervious to observing even the slightest deviation from our consensually agreed-upon construct of masculinity.

I am not marking upon this difference because I just stumbled upon it, but rather because it is an important one to remember. The Mumbai guy, not gonna lie, was gloriously campy, but it's the kind that emerged from being the apple of mother’s eye and having the wealthy background of age-old money. (i mean which Indian queer person can afford a walk-in closet, and have access to the generational wealth. Maybe they can, but will there be any room left for other things besides them in the closet?)

And yes, queer people do have a specific kind of self-obsession, which doesn't root from being awesome, rather it roots from the service of being archived for soo long. The trouble wasn't that I saw myself in the Mumbai guy, but it was his opulence walking around that myself and so many queer people aspire to have. It was also the way that he was an outsider; that people didn't get him. And that is a feeling that all of us have been drowning in. 

Herein perhaps lies the genius of the virtual spaces that encourages us to create an avatar, resulting in self-discovery of the real self and the ideal self. It reminds us that this open field of love and desire is for all, you and us. It forces you to experience the community guidelines that we- queer people- constantly juggle with in the real life. 

So why did Tik-Tok seen like a queer space, because it is! In breaking out of the cocoon of the “societal standard” as a way to express themselves, these content creators probably accidentally though, they imitated our daily life existence. Or in most cases spreading their wonderful lives from across towns, to all over the country. 

Is the Mumbai guy from Indian matchmaking queer? No, you know why? Because he told us so. 

One major takeaway that I got was, being queer, lesbian, non-binary, asex, aros, pan, bi, straight, gay, demi, trans; all these are just differences that should be celebrated, not hammered upon.